Yet Again: A New Dawn... A New Day..

Sorry I fell off of blogging for a while. I have not stuck to my mini goals. However I have been still pushing myself to take baby steps. I have been trying to do more and more with my daughter. Deciding house chores get the back burner. Went Saturday to 2 different playgrounds with my little girl and then took her to the Bronx Zoo. Did laundry yesterday but then took my little girl to The American Museum of Natural History, which is pretty much her home away from home since she goes there so often with her Grandmother. We saw the butterflies exhibit, the African Mammals, The Hall of Biodiversity and so much more. My daughter is wonderful she makes friends everywhere she goes. She made a friend on the bus to the Bronx zoo. She made friends in the cafe at The museum, last night when walking our dog she got a free plum from the fruit guy on our corner, met a family with a 4 year old boy named Harrison. a lovely family! then got a free transformer spaceship from her friend, the man who works at the newspaper stand on 86th Street & Columbus. She loves to run up to people and say "Hi guys!" with such enthusiasm, it's hard for anyone to resist her charm. She also made a boy friend in the hall where the giant whale is at The Museum of Natural History. They were both playing with a touch screen together and having a ball.  Our pet beta fish "Ruby" seems to be a bit under the weather. she had some kind of peeling or what looked like wet tissue coming off her back fin. I cleaned her water & fed her and she looks a little better but I am still concerned, wondering if it was a fungal thing or what. I am physically tired but have enjoyed the quality time i have been spending with my daughter. I wonder as she gets older what her interests will be and how her personality will continue to develop.

Redefine yourself, be grateful, push past fears, live life. "What's stopping you?" 

My girlfriends and I have been friends since childhood and have never really vacationed together. Finally we are in our 40s and are talking about a weekend getaway. I for one am very excited about it. My mother disapproves as my daughter is going through separation anxiety now and I thought about that also. However I would only be going to Atlantic City for a weekend not away for 4 months to a foreign country. Anyway today I decide before doing our weekly chores of grocery shopping and doing the dreaded chore of laundry that I would do something fun w/ my daughter so we went to the Art Farm here in NYC. It was a lot of fun. Initially my daughter started to wig out because when we got inside she saw it looked like a school and I think she was afraid I was going to leave her. I had just purchased our entrance tickets and all she kept repeating as she got more and more upset was mommy let's go home. I tried to reassure her that I wasn't leaving her and that we were going to have fun together. just to give some background she will be 3 years old towards the end of May. She is going to some "gentle separation" classes at NY Kids and this hasn't been easy as she cries & cling the whole time & doesn't want to go. I don't know if I should keep pushing her to get past this fear or respect that she doesn't want to and just leave the classes. Anyway I digress. Brooke kept saying she was scared and wanted to leave until I took her downstairs to see the animals and then she was loving it. they had hamsters, chinchillas, chickens, rabbits, turtles, birds, frogs, skinks, a beautiful leopard gecko named Poppyseed, guinea pigs and more. She got to pet the skink, hamsters, rabbits and a chicken and didn't want to leave when it was time to go. Anyway I get very resentful towards my husband for his "being selfish" a lot of the time (that's how I often perceive it). However I am realizing instead of being angry and resentful I better start just being a little "selfish" and living my life for me & my daughter. I need to spend quality time w/ her as well and not just do the mundane errands/chores every week. I also need to do things I enjoy too not to be so resentful & bitter.

Leopard Gecko

Blue tongued skink

Nonchalant Commitment

When you fall down as a child you learn to get back up and dust yourself off and keep going. Why is it as an adult so many of us tend to stay so stuck in the muck? I really don't know but I kind of am working on this nonchalant commitment to myself. Although I keep falling back to my bad habits and get frustrated at my lack of progress or positive change I need to keep trying to push forward in small little ways in hopes that somehow these slight changes will radiate out to make larger differences down the line. So this is my nonchalant commitment.

I went and had my vision checked as I haven't done so in almost 4 years and luckily found that my eyes have not worsened so much which made me happy. My manager and friend at work just found out her dog has a melanoma in his mouth. He needs radiation treatments. My father hasn't been feeling well and went to his cardiologist and they believe that he may have some issues causing him to have the slows & shortness of breath. He is going for a stress test tomorrow. He already has 9 stents and we are hoping that he just may need maintenance on his stents and not open heart surgery.

My daughter has a flair for the dramatics and pretends to fall down or be sick and then starts laughing. She is my little angel but she doesn't want to give up the bottle, isn't fully potty trained and isn't doing well with her gentle separation classes. Perhaps this is all a reflection of my parenting skills or perhaps she's just not ready and there is a lot going on right now. Tomorrow I am taking my daughter to 2 of her new classes so I hope God smiles upon us and that things aren't 2 traumatic for either one of us.

Here is my latest owl drawing:

I actually like the drawing better in it's earlier stages than i do in it's finished state :l, see earlier stage of drawing below:

So I want to try to keep drawing birds or prey and come up with a series of drawings I am pleased with. So far I feel they all need improvement but I just recently started to draw again. I also would like to eventually get to using colored pencil again.

Upheaval

Cents & Sense:

"Another day..another dollar?" hmmmm well not so sure about that however speaking of dollars I received an email about a book and blog that sound interesting.  So I am sharing this info below:

"Do you feel like your finances and life are a mess but you're overwhelmed with even knowing where to start to get things on track? Do you wish you could carve out extra money on your limited budget to save toward paying cash for a car or retirement? Do you wish you could find a way to give more generously to the needs in your church, community and around the world?

You need to get a copy of The Money Saving Mom's Budget.

Written by well-known moneysavingmom blogger, homeschool graduate, and homeschooling mom, The Money Saving Mom's Budget is a comprehensive step-by-step plan to take you from financial mess to financial success. In a time when so many are struggling to make ends meet, this book's message is direly needed and is already radically changing budgets - and lives!

In this straightforward book, you'll learn:

How to set big goals and break them down into bite-sized pieces.

How to prioritize your time and life in order to live intentionally.

How to streamline your home and life in order to have breathing room to work toward your financial goals.

How to go from no budget at all to a full-fledged, realistic, written budget by following a simple three-step plan.

How to make a cash envelope system work for you.

How to cut your grocery bill in half (including 25 ways to save money without using coupons!).

How to save big on restaurants, travel, clothing, utility bills, prescription glasses, gym memberships, and much more.

And finally, how to cultivate contentment, embrace today, and live a rich and full life, no matter your income.

Purchase Your Copy Today!

The Money Saving Mom's Budget is available to order online from Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com. It will also be on shelves in bookstores across the country tomorrow (January 10, 2012). Stop by your local Barnes & Noble or Books-A-Million to pick up a copy.

Prefer ebooks?

You can download the Kindle version or Nook version.

"For this mama of six, driving a 14 yr. old vehicle, endeavoring to live frugally and to live generously, this book not only offers fresh inspiration, it offers a practical, creative plan to make your life priorities - the reality of your life. And her last chapter on contentment? Standing ovation!"

- Ann Voskamp, author of the New York Times bestseller One Thousand Gifts



No matter your level of thriftiness or how much or little you make, you'll find help, hope, and inspiration in the pages of The Money Saving Mom's Budget.



Your Purchase Is Helping to Save Lives

All of the author's profits from this book's sales are going to fund a Child Survival Program in the Dominican Republic through Compassion International. This Program helps to feed, clothe, provide proper nutrition and medical care, and share Christ with mothers and young children who are at risk of survival.

So what are you waiting for?

Purchase your copy of The Money Saving Mom's Budget today and you'll not only learn now to transform your own financial situation, but you'll also be helping make a direct impact in the lives of over 160 women and children in the DR who are living in poverty."


Also in  a blog I came across a free printable  http://livinglifeintentionally.blogspot.com/, which looks like fun.

A high school friend of mine, Laura Sigad, who now resides in Israel is working on a wonderful research project. Please check out the web site to learn more about how her research is working to help immigrants, poverty stricken and children who are abused and so much more! The Center For The Study of Society. Wow I am proud to know a woman who is working to make such positive change!

Creative & Talented

I have another high school friend who is an inspirational woman as well. She
is doing a blog and selling beautiful shirts and accessories. Please check out her blog and web site:
http://www.nelesc.etsy.com/
http://nelesc.blogspot.com/

I am blessed that god has put so many wonderful creative and talented women in my life so I would like to share some of what they are doing in hopes that it inspires us to reach out, connect, and motivates us to pursue and perhaps activate some of our talents and creativity.

One of my besties, Lisa Leopold has her business called Goodie Bites:
http://www.goodiebites.com/


Then there is a neigbor of mine making earrings and other fun items, check out her site:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/SevenSisterStars
 
Speaking of creative and talented I still am in awe of the work of Joel Sartore, who I mentioned in my blog posted yesterday. I bought his book called RARE last night for my husband as a birthday gift. Joel is a National Geographic photographer working on an incredible project to document endangered species in portraits. He is traveling all over to zoos and aquariums and photographing these amzing species. The book is awesome!!! So you should really check it out, and if you are interested in helping the cause: http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/visions/field-test/sartore-biodiversity/how-to-help

Health & Concern

My father hasn't been feeling well and is going to see his cardiologist this Friday. I must admit I am scared and ask for your prayers for him. He already has 9 stents (I think that was the current count but there is some debate amongst my family about the number).

Edge

Well, well, well....it's been quite the week. My father, sister and daughter all had a stomach bug. My father had it the worst. He seems to be better and my daughter is on the mend although her tummy still isn't back to normal yet :(. I saw my friends Lisa and Amy briefly Friday night and was so glad I did. We were supposed to spend a lot more time together but it just didn't work out. I went shopping for a stroller wanted a light weight stroller that was well made but reclines. Apparently when you have a toddler & don't have a fortune to spend this is too much to ask. I don't understand as these are basic requirements. I bought the Macalren Volo only to find it doesn't recline & had to bring it back. I ended up with a Baby Jogger City Micro which is definitely not light weight in my opinion but has an ease of use for folding and opening. I am still frustrated though because what I was looking for was something like the Maclaran without tremendous expense but that weighs less than 10 pounds but can support a growing toddler & take abuse and yet be easy to commute with. I feel I didn't get my requirements met. I was considering the Chicco Lite Way or is it air way. I don't understand why some colors of the same model are more expensive than others though and of course the less expensive color wasn't available. I felt baffled, still do actually. So have a bit of a stomach bug and so does the rest of my family. Hopefully we are all on the mend. So in addition to trying to get my husband's photography into a gallery I am trying to get myself back to doing some art work and would like to do a series of birds of prey drawings. So far I have done 2 owls and perhaps will do a hawk or eagle next, who knows. I feel like I am in some strange space - not purgatory or something quite so severe but yet a weird in between place where changes are coming, at least one can hope or maybe it's some other form of transition or something not quite sure exactly but definitely something is going on while nothing is going on...if that makes any sense. Anyway this day just flew by. I am grateful for another day, my health, my family and friends, God's grace, a roof over my head, a job, Brooke, Truffles even Ruby, cultural diversity, music, soul, just saw this really cool site for leather hand bags....interestingly enough it's not the handbags that appeal to me as much as the artistic photos & videography, check it out: http://www.brachfeldparlaghy.com/

I came across a posting on facebook this morning by NPR that was about a photographer, Joel Sartore. He is a National Geographic photographer who is working on a project to photograph all the endangered species before they are gone and is traveling the world visiting zoos and aquariums photographing the different species.  This sounded awesome to me and I thought what a wonderful project. He mentioned the drawback is he is away from his wife and 3 children most of the time. I thought again oh that isn't too awesome. But still couldn't help but fantasize a bit about being able to travel with my husband working on a similar project and me illustrating the species so that you have both the photographed images and illustrations. Wow! what an opportunity that would be and educational for our daughter.  You should really check out the article I found it really exciting and interesting: http://www.npr.org/blogs/pictureshow/2012/01/24/145523938/one-mans-quest-to-capture-americas-endangered-zoo-animals-with-a-camera His work is so awesome!!! but so is the project he is working on and if you would like to help support the  Field Test Biodiversity Project check out the following link:

Field Test: Biodiversity - How to Help - Pictures, More From National Geographic Magazine

Here are just a few of Joel Sartore's awesome shots:

So my husband and I finally submitted some of his recent photography to a local gallery in hopes of getting an exhibition. I am praying he does. Today is his birthday and what an awesome gift that would be ; ) So that was one of my baby step goals for the new year and working towards a revolution of a personal sort. I also finally did a zumba workout again last night which is another mini triumph in my daily battle towards positive change.

I have a friend who is writing a poem a day and posting them on facebook. She has inspired me and although I don't believe I can possibly do an illustration a day as a full time working mom w/ a toddler, dog, fish and husband to look after. I would like to try to perhaps maybe set up a more realistic goal for myself perhaps 1 a week or even 1 a month but need o push forward to get to creating as I'd like to again.



Okay so today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, now that was a "MAN"!!! My manager and I were just discussing how he was only 39 and yet had accomplished so much! 

My apartment is a mess, my dog smells foul. I brushed his teeth cleaned his bed and there is still a foul odor coming from him and now I'm at work and there's a foul odor coming from Necropsy. Can I not escape the mess and stench?!!!!

We have the Westminster Annual Dog Show coming up where my job has a booth and we also have our quarterly board meeting coming up where we have to present to the board everything we have been working on this quarter and somehow right now all I want to do is crawl under a rock.

I have not been doing my Zumba exercises regularly and haven't been sticking with good eating habits and I am feeling a little bit burnt out.

I have been such a crabby patty since Saturday afternoon and now my daughter not feeling well on top of things isn't helping. I am looking forward to seeing friends this weekend and only hope my disposition and energy level improve by then, as well as my daughter's. Also getting an alert from my bank that my funds were insufficient before I even got to work isn't helping either! So now I am in "F-it!" mode, where I am tired, not in the best of moods, and my eating habits are in full bloom, in addition to the stench from necropsy I can hear them sawing!!! Ugh just haven't been dealing well last couple of days and everything feels out of control & messy!

Finally had a decent nights sleep and woke up at 5:30 this morning. I have already mopped, cleaned baby bottles, done dishes and cleaned our fighter fish, Ruby's, tank. I am just waiting for my daughter's recording of Sesame Street to finish and then will do zumba before I shower and walk the dog. Although there is still tons to do I feel good that at least I have gotten a productive start to my day. I also entered a sweepstakes to win a magazine from the Home schooling page on facebook. My husband and I have selected photos he took from his recent trip to Yemen to submit for a chance to exhibit in an art gallery in our neighborhood. I so hope that he gets a show as I think it would be a great experience and open new doors for him and change his current outlook which isn't great. I also feel he has a great talent and would hate for it to just go to waste if he just feels too discouraged. Check out some of his photography at: yahyiaphotography.com. I was thinking if i can get enough of the chores done in time that maybe we can go to The Brooklyn Museum today.

We ended up just going to the Whitney Museum which although was a nice change of pace was a little disappointing art wise and went way too quickly although my daughter did enjoy the Alexander Calder Circus exhibit - which I was glad she got to see. My husband wasn't feeling well and later that evening neither was my daughter.

I had plans to go visit a close and dear friend of mine and go to a gallery opening reception and none of that happened as it was very cold and my daughter wasn't feeling well. I ended up crabby and tired and unproductive, contrary to how i started out.

TGIF

Okay I am at work listening to Kool & the Gang - Ladies Night. I just took video of one of our veterinarians giving a bath treatment to 2 kittens with ring worm. Unfortunately the files are too large and I haven't found a way to download them and/or get them to the Veterinarian who needs them for her blog :(. They are beautiful kittens. I am laughing at my self in the chain of events because at first I was all uptight about taking the video of the kittens because this is not my forte (video I mean). Meanwhile after thinking about it I was excited to see the kittens and the process and thought wow how many people get to do this during their work day? and now I am just annoyed that I don't know how to work around the technical difficulties. Ah finally figured out a way around it with some help from a gadget guru ; ) Both elevators aren't working at my job so I was going to go run an errand & go to Home Dept but I am thinking maybe not to go because if the elevator is still not working when i get back then I'd have to walk up 6 double flights of stairs and will probably pass out although I have not been doing my zumba so that would prob serve me right LOL.

So I was wondering if I should sign up to do freelance work illustrating as a side job for some extra income. I would love to do this kind of work but am concerned if my work is on par for it and whether I will be able to follow through or not. I think I would love to have an occasional illustration job here and there. I found out through some friends who are still very active in doing their art I just would want make sure I can follow through and that I am not just taking on extra expense without making profit and/or being able to make the time commitment. Well something to think about but it could be rewarding work in that it would get me doing my passion of creating art again and yet also making some extra cash in the process.

Thinking about my toddler's upcoming birthday and debating if I should do something like have art farm come w/ exotic animals and rent out the community room in my building. The other kids I would invite are all older than her. I also have to think of the expense and if it makes sense.

I am looking forward to seeing my friend Lisa and her family this weekend and going to a friend's opening gallery reception for a photography exhibit:  http://rivaa.com/event/quality-light

Education, Dreams, Hopes and Aspirations

New dawn and a new day. I went his morning for a tour of the UW Success Academy. I was concerned as it is co located with a formerly "problem" zone H.S. Brandeis High School which is now 5 schools in one building. I had been to orientations w/ Eva Moskowitz when they were still looking for a location for the UW school. It's unfortunate that she's still having to fight so hard to just do something good in the school system. The school was I believe supposed to be a K-5 school and is currently just K-1 :(. I like that she is so passionate about what she does and the rigor of the education along w/ the structure. The fact that a good percentage of the learning is done through interactive smaller groups and that the individual scholar is frequently assessed. I also like that they are always looking to improve, it is all so refreshing. I hope and pray by the time Brooke is of age that she be chosen through the lottery for this school +  that perhaps by then Eva will have made some more progress against her opposition and been able to grow the school + have more locations. Also she mentioned wanting to possibly do high schools as well but as she is tired I hope and pray she doesn't burn out before she is able to do so. She is trying to provide world class education for those of us unable to pay $50,000. tuition. Her students have a high success level and are on similar levels with those in Trinity, Chappin, Hunter gifted and other wonderful private schools that I couldn't afford to send my daughter to. They are having a hearing on Tuesday night at a location where she is trying to have a school in Brooklyn.  I hope and pray that Eva Moskowitz is able to continue her success with the success academy charter schools and admire the work she is doing.

Thinking about how I can revolutionize my life and stay motivated and persistent enough to make major or even minor changes in my life. Yet I haven't even necessarily defined what those changes are necessarily. So baby steps right...I want to stop being so negative, I want to enjoy my life more, I want my life to be more rewarding and enjoyable and want that to positively effect the upbringing of my daughter and people I meet. Not quite sure yet how to make this all possible but know my old ways and habits aren't working. I get motivated in little spurts to exercise or eat better but am not consistent enough especially for the kind of results and change I am looking for. I have to be more diligent.

I have been so tired lately and unmotivated. I started trying to get in the habit of taking my vitamins again. I again did not eat lunch today but ate a big breakfast. I don't like being so tired all the time. So here's to positive change and new beginnings.

So I want to overhaul my life but feel like i don't have the energy or where with all to do so. I want to feel like I am making a positive difference in life even if it's on a very small scale.

Some of my former coworkers are having a get together this Saturday night and I would like to go but not sure if I will be able to. Also a friend is having a gallery opening reception at The Octagon Gallery on Roosevelt Island this Sunday and I would like to go to that as well.

End Slavery, Dance and Revolution

Well today is human trafficking awareness day. A shame that there is such a thing needed and yet there is. Joyce Meyer Ministries has outreach programs called "Hand of Hope" who are trying to help those suffering. Hand of Hope posted on facebook: "Today is Human Trafficking Awareness Day. Choose to make a difference in the world, stand up for justice and fight to end slavery!.." Check out a link to this site: http://www.joycemeyer.org/articles/hoharchive.aspx?tag=Human_Trafficking

On another note my daughter went back to Ballet Hispanico this morning and although she still needs to adjust to these classes it seems she is doing better than when we initially tried and she wasn't quite ready yet. I am hoping it goes well. She appears to be enjoying it. My sister was kind enough to send me this picture of her in class while I am at work.

I started the day thinking about things I am not happy about and need to change and not sure if I have the where with all and ended up thinking perhaps what I need more than anything is an attitude or perspective adjustment. I saw an advertisment on TV for "The Revolution" last night  where they have a team of folks help you be the best person you can be and live a more rewarding life. I felt like boy that's what I need is a revolution. My husband laughed as he thought of revolutionaries but I explained this is not a joke and I am sure he could use a revolution too!

Today I ate a whole box of Fiber bars and I am afraid am going to pay the price now. My lean cuisine salmon and rice didn't taste right so I threw it out and ended up eating french fries... needless to say it's probably going to be a bumpy night LOL

Conundrums

Here it is Tuesday, January 10, 2012, how the heck did that happen?!

I was trying to compose this post on my blackberry on my way into work and late as usual, without much success may I add. Typing on this blackberry is whack and I'm considering getting an  iPad or galaxy tab or something so I can do this on the go. I actually feel like my commute is really the only time purely for me. So my husband and I were looking at the Galaxy tab vs. the iPad. I can not really justify this expense though as we are struggling to make ends meet and I am not sure how I am putting my daughter through school and keep hoping for some miracle. I have back slided with my eating and exercise and therefore am up 2 pounds again :(. I ate my breakfast and somehow I am still yearning to eat more, ugh. Listening to Louis Armstrong. My boss called me questioning me about why an exhibit was not installed last night at the job when it actually was. My boss was out sick yesterday and I am sure has other things on her mind, however it kind of make you want to be like WTH?!  But I need to work on not taking everything personally....so breathe Lynne. I sometimes find it more difficult than others to "let go" in general but also when it comes to leaving my daughter. This morning she was just so darn cute even though she had me up at 1:30am this morning! Anyway today is Save The Eagles Day. So I wanted to share a link: http://www.eagles.org/.

I forgot to mention a few things I wanted to share. I was watching The Africa Channel on TV last night and there was a program about a film, the show aired originally in May of 2011 so I guess this is outdated but the film looked intense and noteworthy of checking out it was: "The First Grader". it is a story that although heart wrenching needs to be told. Check out the trailer: http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/player/movies/thefirstgrader/first-grader-trailer.html 


My co worker and I were speaking yesterday about prejudice and it still existing and she was telling me about college fraternities having what they called brown paper bag tests and if your skin was darker than a paper bag you were not admitted. It is a disgrace what the small minded people do to their fellow man.  In addition a cab driver I had coming into work yesterday who is from West Africa told me that the large companies are causing a lot of injustices to the people along with the government. Surprisingly he told me that the chocolate companies are so corrupt as they are the large companies in power and with money.I found an article from the BBC to share on this subject: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-15681986. Of course being a spoiled native New Yorker my first thought was wow does that mean I have to give up my addiction to chocolate? You wouldn't think you were contributing to such an injustice when buying a chocolate bar! Actually not buying chocolate doesn't help the situation as this is that areas main resource and means of income.

Child workers - including those working with pesticides - often have no protective equipment

I found this article also http://allafrica.com/stories/201009170951.html which points out that Hershey chocolate company seems to be one of the worst offenders. Some of the other chocolate companies have taken measures to try improve the situation it appears where as Hershey which is one of the biggest companies has only made 1 chocolate bar which is certified as fare trade and haven't taken other measures to help ratify the situation. These children are used like slaves and in human trafficking. This makes me think about these kids here in our city streets selling chocolate bars to raise money and it probably unknowingly perpetuates this awful cycle!

OK so here it goes another Monday. I am tired. I didn't do great eating wise or exercise wise this weekend but here's to trying to get back on track. Anyway just wanted to share some things that caught my attention and were of interest and hope you enjoy them as well...

Nature and Art

A friend from college, Mike Dubish, posted a link on facebook to this article about grains of sand which caught my interest. It just made me think are we all like grains of sand? Seen one way to the naked eye or passerby, perhaps often overlooked but when looked at more closely or magnified "delicate, colourful structures each as unique as a snow flake"? Check out the link, these grains of sand are from all around the world and beautiful. http://www.blogger.com/goog_2068711109



Some other things on my mind are some of my favorite flowers and/or plants which some people may not find pretty but I find extremely beautiful. Protea are some of my favorite blooms and can be seen at the following links: http://www.tradewindsfruit.com/king_protea.htm, or  http://californiaprotea.org/. Protea are native to South Africa and Australia.

In addition I love pitcher plants and have a drawing I did of some a while back (see to the left)

I found an interesting article about some research being done on these pitcher plants: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/08/090804081545.htm

In addition there are the heliconia, which I also did a drawing of (see to the right)

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heliconia 

Then to get back to the exotic or carnivorous plants, is the raflessia which gives off the scent of rotting flesh to attract it's prey. It looks like something from a sci-fi movie. Check it out (below left).

This picture of the rafflesia plant was taken from an Interesting site: http://www.familyadventuretravelworks.com/borneo%E2%80%99s-giant-plant-%E2%80%93-the-rafflesia

Mike Dubisch and his wife Carolyn attended School of Visual Arts when I went and are currently working on a comic which has been "nominated for "Best Comic" at ThisIsHorror.com- Suitable for all ages, full color graphic novel- fully funded project your purchase is guaranteed to go through. You can support them by donating at:

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/837620246/the-people-that-melt-in-the-rain-graphic-novel

(above image a pencil drawing page from The People That Melt in the Rain by Dubisch)

Okay so it's 3:33am...and I've been up for an hour already. Thinking about all kinds of stuff, like...the phoenix, upheaval, guns, knives, archery, martial arts, education, art, hackers, motherhood, resilience, goals and baby steps to name a few.

The Phoenix
The idea or anaolgy repeats itself of myself being burried, oppressed by life's daily chores and responsibility and motherhood and being a wife and have lost some of the parts of me that were fun or interesting. However I don't believe they are truly lost but rather just buried, repressed. The phoenix is a dramatic symbol but one I think many women can look to as a rising up from whatever may be holding us back. I also like the idea of the archealogical dig foor uncovering and discovering those lost aspects of "self".

Guns, Knives, Archery and Martial Arts
When I was young my father belonged to agun club, owned a few guns and also did realistic illustrative paintings and carvings of guns. He would get gun Magazines as well and collected knives. I was a bit of a tom boy and shared some of these interests with him. I took archery once in camp (Although I wasn't very
good). I also have  shot 22s + an M16. My father also taught me to whittle wood as he used to do so and did carpentry work when I was young so I've always loved working with wood.I never took martial arts but wanted to and was tHinking I'd like to teach my my daughter these things and more. but also want to make sure what age may be appropriatte to start and in what doses. I would like my daughter to be A strong well rounded woman who knows how to take care of herself and never feels she has to rely on a man to take care of her. I was tinking back to how I'd like my daughter to be like Lara Croft.

Education
I have been toying with the the idea of trying to further my education and possibly go for a masters degreee considering early childhood education with a specialty in the arts. Thinking about my daughter's education and how I can't afford to send her to any of the schools I'd like to. Trying to figure out where I will end up sending her. Have been researching schools and going to open houses for her but still feel lost & clueless. Currently I have her in a gym combo class for scoialization and exercise. I am going to try to start her back at ballet lessons at Ballet Hispanico. We attempted this before but she wasn't ready and was to clingy and disruptive in class. The end of this month she will be starting gentle seperation classes, to prepare her for school.

Exercise & Lifestyle Changes
Since I have been up since 2:30am, I decided around 5:30 to do something productive and did my Zumba total body stretch and then the Zumba mix DVD. It was a lot of fun, I really enjoyed it. They used a variety of instructors in this DVD from different parts of the world in different cultural garb and it made me so happy!

Goals
Ok so I have some possible mini goals that I would like to work on (please don't judge me LOL):

1. Take an accessory design class
2. Take a basic sewing class
3. Learn to drive & get license
4. Lose weight
5. Exercise
6. Eat Healthier
7. Be a good role model to my daughter
8. Clean House
9. Clean Office
10. Start creating designs again
11. Start doing art work again
12. Get more organized
13. Save money
14. Figure out plan for putting my daughter through school
15. Improve my relationship with my husband
16. Get my husband's photos into an art gallery

http://dailyworth.com/posts/1045-The-Secret-to-Success

A New Day....
So today is National Bird Day and being that I love birds of prey I figured I would start off showing a drawing I did of an owl.

I have found owls beautiful and intriguing since I was a little girl. I would actually like to do some sort of art series on birds of prey but just never got around to it. My husband also has some beautiful pictures of birds of prey on his photography web site.Yahyia's photography. My father also used to make owl rock sculptures and mixed media paintings when I was a child. I found this really cool site for those of you who are interested in owls as well: http://nyfalls.com/wildlife/Wildlife-birds-owls.html. There are is also a place to visit if you feel so inclined: http://theraptortrust.org/. Another place I loved and have unfortunately found has closed is: http://www.fieldtrip.com/ny/47586957.htm.. Also  a possible note of interest is: http://wildbirdfund.com/wildlife-rehabilitation-center/ a bird rehabilitation center scheduled to open on the upper westside however this has been pending for quite some time. In addition there is an annual birds of prey show that takes place in Central Park on the upper east side of the park which is a great experience an informative. Also on a different subject for those of you interested in exotics there is a reptile show this weekend: http://www.reptileexpo.com/nyfirst.htm

Weight Loss / Lifestyle Adjustments
Okay so the weight has not been flying off of me but I am trying to persevere in some of the lifestyle changes I am trying to make, eating better and exercising all the same. This brings to mind a recent post I came across on facebook that I would like to share from PBS: http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/blogs/make-your-new-years-resolutions-reality and another resource about resilence: http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx from this last site I would like to share their list of 10 ways to increase your resilience, please see them below:

10 Ways to build resilience

1. Make connections. Good relationships with close family members, friends, or others are important. Accepting help and support from those who care about you and will listen to you strengthens resilience. Some people find that being active in civic groups, faith-based organizations, or other local groups provides social support and can help with reclaiming hope. Assisting others in their time of need also can benefit the helper.
2.  Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems. You can't change the fact that highly stressful events happen, but you can change how you interpret and respond to these events. Try looking beyond the present to how future circumstances may be a little better. Note any subtle ways in which you might already feel somewhat better as you deal with difficult situations.
    
3. Accept that change is a part of living. Certain goals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter.
    
4. Move toward your goals. Develop some realistic goals. Do something regularly -- even if it seems like a small accomplishment -- that enables you to move toward your goals. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, "What's one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?"
    
5. Take decisive actions. Act on adverse situations as much as you can. Take decisive actions, rather than detaching completely from problems and stresses and wishing they would just go away.
    
6. Look for opportunities for self-discovery. People often learn something about themselves and may find that they have grown in some respect as a result of their struggle with loss. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have reported better relationships, greater sense of strength even while feeling vulnerable, increased sense of self-worth, a more developed spirituality, and heightened appreciation for life.
    
7. Nurture a positive view of yourself. Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps build resilience.
    
8. Keep things in perspective. Even when facing very painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid blowing the event out of proportion.
    
9. Maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables you to expect that good things will happen in your life. Try visualizing what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear.
    
10. Take care of yourself. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly. Taking care of yourself helps to keep your mind and body primed to deal with situations that require resilience.

Additional ways of strengthening resilience may be helpful. For example, some people write about their deepest thoughts and feelings related to trauma or other stressful events in their life. Meditation and spiritual practices help some people build connections and restore hope.

The key is to identify ways that are likely to work well for you as part of your own personal strategy for fostering resilience.

Manic Monday

Health
Okay so New Years Eve wasn't great for me food wise or exercise wise. On the other hand my husband, daughter and I had a ball making music with drums, a lute + tambourine. Hopefully we scared away all evil spirits for 2012! ;). I was told by a friend about a free web site where you can keep your food journals, weigh in, join forums and challenges. It's . I think this site is really helpful. I also joined one of the challenges to try to encourage myself to work harder at lifestyle changes of eating healthier and exercising. I came across this interesting blog on overeating that I'd like to share: http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/blogs/overeating-understanding-and-taking-back-control

Toddler Literature
My daughter, who is 2 1/2 yrs old, loves watching the NickJr show on TV called Wonder Pets. She also loves her Eric Carle books: "Panda Bear, Panda Bear, What Do You See?", "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?", and "The Very Hungry Caterpillar". These books are published by Henry Holt who published another book my daughter loves called "The Babies on the Bus" which is a kin to the song "The wheels on the bus". Anyway I just like sharing things that seem to be a hit with my daughter as I figure other moms may find it helpful.

Visual Arts
So in a earlier blog I mentioned my husband's photography. I am trying to encourage him to submit some of his most recent work to see if he can get his work shown in a gallery. I'm excited because I believe he has the talent + potential. I also never pursued trying to show my own work and am a frustrated visual artist so I guess I'd be living vicariously through his experience. I haven't been doing any art for quite some time and miss it. So I suppose that might be a future goal down the line to get back to having some kind of creative outlet again. Perhaps getting back to illustrating and doggy fashion & product design. Here are some of my earlier attempts of doggy fashion design:



Nature / Animals
I came across an interesting post on a blog I follow called "Geeks are Sexy", about 11 new species that were discovered, so I have included a link to the original source: http://www.ouramazingplanet.com/2184-species-discovered-2011.html Also my husband and I finally had a long overdue "date" to spend some time as a couple and went to see the "Journey to the Stars" and the Hayden Planetarium at The American Museum of Natural History http://www.amnh.org/. We both enjoyed it immensly with exception of being next to a crying baby through most of the show.

The picture shown to the left - Cnemaspis psychedelica. Credit: © L. Lee Grismer.

20 Things I am Grateful For and More

Happy New Year!

I recently read a post from Joyce Meyer Ministries on facebook saying before asking God for something think of 20 things you are grateful for...I have decided this would be a good way to start my blog and the new year.

20 Things I am Grateful For:

1. My daughter
2. My husband (although this can very from moment to moment LOL)
3. My family
4. My health
5. My job
6. God
7. Nature
8. Art
9. Friends
10. Learning New Things
11. My dog
12. Joyce Meyer Ministries
13. Dr. Wayne Dyer
14. Music
15. Second, third and fourth chances
16. Zumba
17. Swimming
18. Hugs
19. Love
20. Laughter

Dr. Wayne Dyer wrote: "Forget about those New Year's resolutions in which you decide on the first day of January how you will be conducting your life for the next twelve months. Instead, set up day-to-day goals for yourself, and then resolve to begin living with present moment awareness for the rest of your life. When you get good at living your present moments one day at a time you'll see yourself changing..."

My friend Lisa just started a blog yesterday. Check out her blog at: www.lisal2012.blogspot.com. In addition she makes some great cake pops - check them out at: www.goodiebites.com I was inspired by her. I attempted to start a blog 2 years ago but my husband told me I had to write about something people were interested in and that I knew enough about. I agreed he was right and didn't pursue it any further. However I often have given into the defeatest attitude and have found this way of living has not served me well thus far. So after my friend Lisa started her blog yesterday I decided why can't I write a blog as well? and that I no longer want to give up before I even really give it a shot.

I have a number of talented and creative friends who's work I would like to share as well as things that come up just in living life and being a mom.

I have recently been looking for educational materials for my daughter and found a series of DVDs by First Impressions and small fry for children ages 1-5 years. Subjects include, letters, numbers, shapes, sounds, and animals. What I like about these DVDs are the educational activties and that there are multiple choice questions where your child can select an answer and it's interactive. "Baby's first impressions and small fry have received over 30 awards from national organizations that recognize the very best in children's education and entertainment. Some of these include: USA Today, Coalition for Quality Children's Media - Approved By Kids First!, Child Magazine - best video of the year, Parenting magazine voted #1, and more."

I have a friend who has been making some wonderful designs. Check her designs out facebook - Nelesc Designs. I admire her work as being a designer is something else I started to pursue and gave up on. I was working on designing dog clothing and accessories and furniture and kind of let it go by the way side.

Also I'd like to share my husband's photography web site: www.yahyiaphotography.com I am very proud of his work and eagerly await him sharing some of his most recent work from his trip to Yemen.